It Must Be Spring: Our President's a Song Bird

Ya gotta love a man who sings from the heart... about all the pretty darn illegal stuff he's gotten away with, criminals he's helped, and well the overall feeling of a job well done. All the while thinking this was an "off the record event." Ahhhh, Spring.

-Maltok 5

Plumps When You Cook 'Em...

Buy More Stuff!

Enjoyed enough of being part of the problem? Now look at some ways to either dig out or rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic. Either way it's a great little movie.

-Maltok 5

Young Teacher

Her Lesson
Originally uploaded by Clonny

Talk about no child left behind!

-Maltok 5


What I learned from BUSH
1. Lying is O.K.
2. Cheating is O.K.
3. Torture is O.K.
4. Taking people's rights is O.K.
5. Neglecting the poor is O.K.
6. Being a religious hypocrite is O.K.
7. Killing is O.K.
8. Incompetence is O.K.
9. Cronyism is O.K.

In all 'fairness', I think she left out one thing.
10. Dancing is O.K.

Fight the Cynicism They're Selling: Grow Your Own Hope

Help Save the Helpless Telecoms! Terrorcrats Have No Shame

Seems that the Democrats have nothing better to do than attempt (ham fistedly I might add) to protect civil liberties. Do they truly hate America that much that they would go after the immunity of the poor, struggling telephone companies? Colbert has the answer.

-Maltok 5

Seems Hillary's Hired Karl Rove

Yet another reason that we've had just about enough of the Clintons. Oh yeah, that and the fact that overwhelmingly, Republicans want her to be the nominee cause they can probably beat her. Hillary, drop the ego and step aside. It's not your time; and if you keep this up you may never get a chance and may help the Democrats snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. But what do I care? It's not my planet.

-Maltok 5

Obama "blacker" ad no accident

by kos

Wed Mar 05, 2008 at 02:42:02 PM PST

From a reader:

I just wanted to leave a remark about this "blacker" issue, and comments that it is somehow something that just happened in the video editing process. I work in advertising (copywriter, [Big national advertising firm]). I sit in the rooms where the post production occurs, and this includes color correction. While things look different on many TVs, they don't look this dramatically different. Nothing that you see in a final advertisement is accidental. These things are looked at (or should be looked at if they are doing their jobs) second by second. Even more unforgiving is the stretching of the footage. It is possibly the result of laziness on the part of the editor, but it would have been easier to actually not stretch it, and just crop it.

Nothing in advertising is accidental. It is over-thought and then subjected to second thoughts and second guessing then over-thought and re-looked at again. I've been doing this ten years. It is my professional opinion that the film was made darker, and it has obviously been stretched. I will not comment on their reasons, as I can't offer an informed case for that.

Remember the "RATS" ad used against Gore in 2000? The Bush campaign was mocked in its claims of ignorance because ad makers pore over every detail of their ads before releasing them for broadcast. There was a concerted effort by Clinton's ad people to make Obama look darker, more sinister, and with a wider nose. The evidence is indisputable.

And from reader cartwrightdale:

Sara Connor We Need You! Robots of Death Imminent!

Don't say I didn't warn ya.
-Maltok 5

Bloodthirsty Robot Hoodlums Will Be Terrorists And Soldiers Of The Future

Robot slaves may be the foot soldiers in John McCain’s thousand-year surge, if expert predictions prove true. Scientists in the field of artificial intelligence see a time in the not-so-distant future when robots will be able to kill on command without any human intervention. This intriguing development could leave the United States to wage robot wars across the planet with other countries’ robots, making war into a sort of healthy and ultimately deathless exercise, except for the robot slaves who will perish horribly in flames. Scientific proof after the jump.

• University of Sheffield professor Noel Sharkey says that autonomous robots “are more cost-effective and give a risk-free war.”
• Nations already enjoying the services of military/law enforcement robots include South Korea, Israel, China, India, Russia, and Britain.
• Unfortunately, terrorists could use robots as suicide bombers. “I don’t know why that has not happened already,” says Sharkey.

The only person alive to see this nightmare scenario will be John McCain himself, who will live to the age of 1 million before his circuit board craps out.

Automated killer robots ‘threat to humanity’: expert [Breitbart]

You Can Feel Safe Now: FEMA's Got Your Back

This just in from Wonkette! Duck and cover my children...

-Maltok 5

how to survive

FEMA's Tips For Encountering a Poison, Crashing Satellite

As you may have heard, the Pentagon’s space missile successfully hit that broken Satellite of Love last night, and now its poisonous death shrapnel (which has actually been deemed “unhazardous,” by liars) will come hurling into our atmosphere, killing us all. But there is one hope for us in this Armageddon scenario: the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), the revered handymen most famous for getting New Orleans back on its feet within 24 hours of the initial Hurricane Katrina strike. Last week, America’s Most Effective Agency released its “First Responder Guide For Space Object Re-Entry,” i.e. “what to do if the poison satellite crashes next to you.” How will FEMA save the world this time?

FEMA knows the score. This spiraling poison juggernaut is the most lethal threat to humans since space aliens attacked Rudy Giuliani on September 11, 2001:

Our Man Dick: Right Again...

Unfortunately at the wrong time. Watch and weep.
-Maltok 5

This Just In... Music On Its Way Out

I've seen this coming for centuries now. Music taking a back seat to things like front seats, car washing, needlepoint and other seemingly more important creative endeavors. Now it's confirmed by the sage masthead below. Music only a 6.8? I say vote it off the island, before it drags us down with it!!

-Maltok 5

Pitchfork Gives Music 6.8

CHICAGO—According to the review, the popular medium that predates the written word shows promise but nonetheless "leaves the listener wanting more."